I hope, here, to give you a quick and easy way to integrate shadow material into your conscious self through something called the Self-Integrating Process. The reasons to do such a thing are multi-faceted. For one, it allows you to avoid the snare of polarization within yourself (wherein you fight battles with yourself). For another, it removes you from the collective wave of Spiritual Fascism (a very good thing, indeed). Thirdly, it actually increases your energy levels because it frees up trapped parts of yourself. Remember, it takes energy to keep something down psychologically.
In addition, there are a few points I would like to introduce before we look at the Process itself.
First of all, suppressed shadow material often coalesces into a state that resembles a being or an entity. It is possible to communicate with one's shadow material as if it were a conscious being.
Secondly, accepting one's shadow does not necessarily mean accepting its behavior (i.e., if you want to stop smoking, accepting your own shadow material responsible for the abuse of tobacco does not mean that you accept smoking). It does mean, however, that you accept the part of you that wants to smoke.
Just as an example, people smoke for many reasons. Some use it as a ritualistic offering to spirit, as in Native American ceremonies. Others use it to suppress feelings. It all has to do with your intention. For those wanting to suppress anger or agitation, tobacco is sometimes used because it causes the capillaries to constrict. With decreased blood flow, there can be a temporary cessation or decrease of agitation. So let's say you are one of these folks. There are two things here: a) the behavior of actually lighting up and b) the desire to light up. The desire to light up is coming from a part of you that is uncomfortable with the arising of certain feelings. This part is trying its best to keep these feelings in your shadow realm, outside the light of self-awareness. And it is doing this because you have chosen at some level to deny these feelings. The part responsible for acting this out (i.e., grabbing a cig) is not the culprit. It is simply trying to do what you want it to do. In other words, no matter how bizarre a behavior is, the part responsible for that behavior is trying to take care of you in some way.
These parts have a kind of autonomous psychological life of their own. Their desire is to be accepted as an aspect of us, yet their fear is that we will reject them. There is good reason for this paranoia on their part. We tend to find them repugnant even though they are only doing what we asked them to do (suppress).
There is an innate fear in us that if we accept a psychological part, we will be bound to its actions. The truth is that when we accept a part as an aspect of ourselves, there is a release of psychological energy which expands awareness. This increases the likelihood that we will be able to make better and more creative choices for ourselves. When we re-member (rejoin with) a psychological part through the act of self-acceptance there is presumably a spontaneous release of endorphins and other neurotransmitters associated with wellness. Note: This is a theoretical observation I have made over the years in regards to the Self-integrating Process. As yet I know of no studies that demonstrate this, but people always report a feeling of increased wellness and wholeness after completing the process. I presume therefore, that there are corresponding physiological changes. Future research will prove or disprove this hypothesis, but whatever the cause, people feel better and more connected to themselves after going through the process.
The Self-Integrating Process
When an uncomfortable feeling arises, this is the ideal time to do the Process since the material is right at the surface of awareness. But it can also be done whenever one wishes to change a behavior.
There are several steps to this.
What is different about this process from many other self-therapeutic exercises is the lack of content. We really aren't interested in the story of why we are doing "It," nor are we interested in the history of "It." We are simply acknowledging the part (responsible for "It") as an aspect of ourselves. The sole purpose for this is to build a bridge of awareness between the subconscious and conscious levels of awareness, in other words, so that we can become psychologically more conscious.
1. First of all, when you feel upset, locate where in your body the part seems to be located. This may seem odd, but the part will be centered somewhere in your body. Sometimes, though much less often, the part may be in the energy field around your body. This area will feel different than the rest of your body. It may feel radically different if there is a lot of emotional energy around the part, or it may feel subtle if there is less stuff around it. But there will always be some kind of physical sensation where the part resides.
2. Next, simply focus on this area of your body and tell the part (silently in your mind) that you accept it as an aspect of yourself. That's it. There will be a response from the part in the language of sensation; in other words you will feel something relax, let go or integrate if the part believes you. You have to mean it. You can't bullshit a part and get away with it. Parts know if you are lying or trying to pull a fast one, and they don't like it. To review an important point: you are not telling the part that you accept its behavior. You are simply saying that you accept it. It exists (whether you like it or not). And you are simply acknowledging that it exists, and that it is a part of you.
3. Sometimes there are other parts that don't like it when you accept a particular part that you are having trouble with. These objecting parts usually have their own agendas to keep things in status quo. Some parts just plain don't like for things to change. Others might not like for you to get psychologically healthier, for instance. Is it beginning to sound like you have a circus in there? Well… you do! And so does everyone else. What makes the difference between a good show, in which all the parts work, more or less together, and chaos, is the Ringmaster. And you are, of course, the Ringmaster of your own circus. Some of our parts are clowns; some are daring trapeze artists; some train wild animals; some are pickpockets slinking in the shadows behind the bleachers. There is a whole menagerie in there. And once you acknowledge one of the circus members, you may have to contend with others. The strategy is actually quite simple. Whatever arises in yourself, tell it that you accept it as an aspect of yourself. I have known people to need to work with up to nine parts to get a final feeling of resolution or integration.
This process creates a greater feeling of personal wholeness through the acceptance of parts that heretofore were rejected. It also increases psychological energy and awareness, as I said earlier.
This process does not usually resolve problems, but with increased psychological energy and awareness the problems become less problematic.
To make ourselves more whole by retrieving parts of ourselves from the shadows of our unconscious is a holy act. The root of the word holy, for instance, means to make whole.
I agree with Carl Jung that coming to terms with our collective shadows is imperative. And this type of psychological endeavor may be some of the most sacred work we can do at this time. May the light of your own illumination and the compassion of your own heart guide you in your quest for wholeness.
Tom Kenyon
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